This a fable about the - Legendary Nigerian Northerner and Southerner - The next paragraph is the body of a story conveyed me, by a friend about his recent and first visit to the North. I had gone over to his place...to hand him an information pamphlet about the upcoming 2011 ELECTIONS. I was seated on an unsteady bench covered with sharp splinters, in his backyard, when he proceeded to tell me about his interesting trip to the North.

Apparently he'd gone in search of the 'dreaded alien'...commonly referred to as the 'northerner'. Sit back and share his experience, as he'd shared it me. He began his story with the emblematic words: "First time I went North...".

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First time I went North. I'd barely arrived than I went in search of the 'northerner'. I looked all around me but could only see; normal people. It was surprising that I saw nothing in sight that fitted the long fabled accounts of the dreaded 'northerner'. Everywhere I went, and everywhere I looked...there was no 'northerner' to be seen or found. Not to be completely done by this shocking surprise. I began asking the people I encountered in the north: "where are all the 'northerners".

I explained to them, i was from the south and was dying to see a 'northerner'. "I have heard a lot about weird aliens called 'northerners', and it would be such a shame to waste my visit to the north...and not see a 'northerner'.

The surprised people of the north, said they'd never heard of a 'northerner' before. They said i was weird for asking them odd things. But they were patient, and asked me to describe this 'northerner' I was so intent on looking for, and seeing.They said i should be detailed in my description and be lavish about the alien's character. I did.

A large number of the people, soon gathered around me as i began to vividly describe the 'northerner', i was looking for. I was very excited,and animated my descriptions so well. And did rather resort to frequent use of hand gestures and improvisation. My audience were rapt. They nodded as I dramatised. After a while the people of the north began waving their heads. They looked at each other...and muttered things in hausa amongst themselves...I did not understand; but could tell they were very worried. So i asked them what the problem was...me thinking I had offended them with my overly done dramatisations. Perhaps it had been inappropriate to do so, within their etiquette.

"What is the matter" i asked them.
"We are troubled" the leader of the group answered.

"Oh...Oh..." I began responding "...I didn't mean to cause any offense or disrespect". "It's just that I thought it would be easier for me to describe the - 'northerner' - using sketches".
Again, the leader of the group spoke.

"Oh no...it's not that". "You've caused us no offense at all". "But you have given us much reason to be consternated", explained the leader.

"Consternated!!!" i echoed.
"Yes...consternated..." "... you worry us with your description of this alien you call the 'northerner' we've never ever seen" replied the leader.

I could see he was genuinely worried, and realised he wanted to say more, "Please explain further" I demanded politely.

"Well..." began the leader cautiously, then he paused.
"Well...what!" I voiced nervously.

The leader turned away from me, and looked at the group; sort of asking for their approval that he go on to elucidate their worries. The group nodded with enthusiasm. They directed their group leader to carry on - and tell me about their anxious worry.

"Well my friend...what it is..." the group leader resumed "...is that you seem to have just described the 'southerner' perfectly". "The 'southerner' is the worst of aliens...he is to be dreaded and despised" he explained, then spat out his disgust in a blob on the dirt sidewalk.

"The southerner!" I exclaimed.
"Yes" he affirmed. Then he stared at me, as if waiting for some explanation about the seeming coincidence.

"But who or what are the 'southerners'?" I asked him.
"I've just told you..." he seemed to snap "...they are alien people who live down south" he replied, as if I was stupid or something.

"But I am from south" I reminded him. "We don't have people like that from the south; who fit those descriptions" i declared with alacrity.

The leader scratched his head, looked up, then looked at the group, and back at me. He spoke slowly and measuredly like a sire.

"You mean..." "...in the south, there are no people who fit this alien description, you accurately recounted with drama" he asked me cautiously.

"Yes!" i shouted emphatically. "We have no 'northerners' in the south...'northerners' are in the north".

"But the north, comprises of people; not 'northerners" he agitated, then went on in a matter of fact style "we have no 'northerners'...or whatever you call them, living among us in the north".

"And the south comprises of people; not 'southerners" i agitated back, but with decorous restrain.

"Well..." "...I suppose you're making sense" he began to reason with me. "After all, you are from the south, and you certainly look normal to me". "There must be a mix-up somewhere and somehow".

He went on, "You certainly don't look like the 'southerners' we've heard many ALIEN stories about" was his final conclusion. I thanked him for his rationality and measure, and breathed a sigh of relief. Because I was becoming worried.

We just stood there, face to face...puzzled.

The group told us, to take it easy. They felt we were unto something. They beckoned us to sit down, on the ground and resolve the difference. An old looking lady with a delightful smile, among them, spread out a pretty weaved mat. And the group leader and i sat down. I took the initiative to lead the inquiry.

"Seems like, this 'northerner' and 'southerner' seem identical" I said.
"Yes..." "...this 'northerner' and this 'southerner' must be the same and one person" agreed the group leader.

"But are you sure he is not in the north" I asked sheepishly.
"And...are you sure - he is not in the south" asked the group leader; searchingly but apologetically.

"So where are they..." "...where is this 'northerner' and this 'southerner'" we both seemed to say together with raised voices, and the [now] bewildered group - threw their hands in the air, saying: "must God think we are that bored, that he chooses to give us - riddles and mysteries to solve".

Unable to resolve the puzzle, we agreed to go our seperate, agreeable ways. I said to the the group leader that I would return to my hotel for the day, which was easy walking distance, and head on back...south tomorrow. But the group leader insisted to help me flag down, and pay for a taxi, to take me to my hotel. Which he did.

There was a taxi in the distance with an ELECTION 2011 POSTER stuck on it's body. The group leader flagged it to halt; the taxi parked. Then I heard the group leader say, in a gruffy voice to the taxi driver, as my back was turned...bidding a frowning group farewell:

"Please take this 'southerner' to his farway hotel on the far outskirts of town"

I got into the taxi, and bid the group leader and rest - bye bye again. The taxi must have sped off too quickly, because i cannot recall them replying me.

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After my friend had finished telling his story about his recent visit to the north in search of the - dreaded alien called the 'northerner'. He seemed to be in a daze. So I asked him "what is the matter" as I handed him the pamphlet about the 2011 ELECTIONS...he took the document from my hand, and seemed to peruse it with glazy eyes. Before he looked up, to share his troubled thoughts with me.

This is what he said:

"Well...I haven't quite gotten over it, I am still tryin to figure out, in dread, why the group leader...the 'northerner', referred to me as the 'southerner' when giving the taxi driver... information about my final and exit destination". "Mmm...I suppose he was trying to cover up something...I bet he knew something about the missing 'northerner' I never got to see". "Ah well...I suppose you can never trust 'northerners".

END OF STORY.

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Dear Nigerians,

The Notherner and Southerner are a destructive reality. Dropping in and out of our awareness. They powerfully exist. They are the twin spirit of a Nigerian seperatedness. They are a consciousnesses of a past...they are the powerful spirits invoked, constantly, by visionless groups on both sides of the north-south boundary.

These powers and principalities are bigger than any single individual, more resolute than the diametric but disparate groups. And are a threat to the voice and vision of progress. Their job is to wreak havoc. To endlessly and tiresomely, pit - north against south, and vice versa. They are the distracting forces of bad. They have been the underpinning of most our nation ills. This national dichotomy establishes upon our agenda, the cardinal issue; of a pointless rivalry. Which stems from complexes of superiority and inferiority. A completely accursed and catastrophic long term view which will even eventually destroy; the very passe and feudal interests, these - northerner and southerner people - foolishly safe guard. They are our cancer...and if anybody knows anything about cancer. It is that... eventually the cancer kills the patient...and in so doing: kills itself. It is a charging bull which recklessly batters everything in sight, and its own head.

This northern and southern rivalry, the combat of paranoia between the different tribes is a nonsensical issue. It has been drummed up, and for no reason other..than our leaders are incapable of national development. And devoid of a vision to unite the country into an indivisble united nation, a common prosperity, and shared happiness. Wherever there is no true progress...decay and rot seep in; perpetually.

The multitude our Nigerian problems, have arisen due to lack of pursuit of the newer paradigm. This new paradigm is the deliverer. It would hydrate and insatiate the scalding heat of tribal insecurities. It would discourage the yearn for a smelly stagnancy within a glorious past, irrelevant to the present.

The sinful failures to bring the many tribes into one, must be terminated. Most Nigerians want to remain one; regardless the colonial history which had formed our union from our British rape. So why do the destructive forces of the northerner versus southerner syndrome, continuously speak and act to inform deep fissures and quakes within our land. There can be only one credible answer: pig headed stubborness, stark unintelligence and writhe in a miasmic darkness.

The leaders which have un-served us for most the post-independent years have been enslaved by two fundamental entrapments.

First; they have suffered from a total lack of awareness of how best to steer Nigeria into its exalted and opportuned place within the newer reality; the global world: we defaultedly joined after independence in 1960. Which is same as saying; they couldn't see our promised glory, assured by providence.

And second; about their dark mentality. Their mentality, in spite their unconvincing shroud and disguise, is monumentally colonial, and subservient to the foreign master. It is not free, and too tethered - to create and innovate new ideas outside formulations, past decreed during the protectorate and colonial legacy. We've had leaders incapable and unconfident to charter an unknown journey into the unknown. So they recoiled into evolutionary ineptitude. A forgivable, but unacceptable crime. Yes...we can be compassionate to the custodians of our deep grief, and yet...be resolute in the build of our better future, nonetheless. That is the call of a moral conscience.

These pretenders, have bigged up the importance of retrogressive and parochial ideas; stupidly lead by their ancient songs of old tribe and fiefdom. Both northerner and southerner, are stupidly complict.

Up till this very day the clash between the northerner and southerner continues. They clashed before independence about when we should become Independent. They clashed after independence over the political control of the independent nation. And today the clash goes on. The present day issue centring on whether Goodluck Jonathan should be allowed to contest for the office of President, or not. Balomey!!!

Our founding fathers; were intelligent tribal men?
Yes; but nationally...they squabbled like children.
None of them truly was, or could be described a nationalist.
One of them though, did aspire and but failed.

Squabble...Squabble.
Suspicion...Suspicion.
Fight...Fight.
Hegemony...Hegemony.
Vassal...Vassal.

That's all the northerner versus southerner syndrome has ever given us, and guaranteed to give more of the same doom; not unless [watch this space:A Northern - and Southern Fable [part 2].

Our nation will be fifty years old, on the 1st October 2010. Yes; there has been some progress. But can we really call it progress, in light, the colossal amounts of wealth, slurped spillingly from the Niger Delta oil regions. Where is all our wealth? Estimated gross earnings over the past three decades by the World Bank - have been conservatively put at 500 Billion Dollars.

We've been ruled and led by the same generation of leaders: they are an incestuos ruling house. They are mutants...inbreeding leaders. The ideas and attitudes which have misled our nation, have come from this - narrow and insular base of myopic individuals. It's hardly any wonder that our development on most levels, has been mired. And the northerner versus southerner issue has constantly augmented.

This feud is unproductive and usurpative of energies and time, better needed to develop and move the nation forward. And now for this sad bitter truth; unless this feud ends...the nation may become irreversibly destroyed. [don't lol...but col]

Question: So, how do we stop this ruinous war that poisons our politics, demolishes our governance and handicaps the executive to carry out proper constitutional and moral conscience duties. As the tip of the sword of damocles...dangles microns away from our bulging neck jugular?

Answer: We work on the problem...and not in the problem. We shouldn't bother with cutting out or zapping the cancer: for the therapy to kill the cancer may well kill us too. We should discourage the growth of any new cancer. Steady its size. And then completely cut off it's oxygen supply.
We should awaken a stronger and more powerful consciousness, which will compete with the same nourishment and supplies...the consciousness of northerner versus southerner; depend. The consciousness of institutionalised bribery and corruption; depend. The consciousness of meandering squalor and malingering; depend. And the consciousness of disunity and foundering; depend.

We should awaken our national consciousness:
OneDrum OneMask OneVoice.

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To be continued: A Northern - and Southern Fable [part 2]

By Ayinde Katunga